May 2011

I must confess I love a good seller! That’s why it is extra annoying for me to meet a bad sales rep.

This is my personal list of types of people that do it wrong. It’s useful because it can teach people what to avoid when selling or buying.

You need a product or you just got lured in by a good marketing move. And then you meet this guy. He either starts off with a lame excuse (I’m new with the company, This is not my usual type of product. etc) or with a very generic presentation that doesn’t offer new info. All your questions are diverted, addressed very briefly or forwarded to someone who actually knows what they’re selling. Mildly annoying, the unprepared guy wastes two limited resources: time and patience.

You’re already sold. You want to buy. You need it! Then there’s this guy. Stuck in a procedure, unable to understand your need, slow in answering your requests – the inept order taker blocks the sale with his lack of skill or interest. He is usually found working in the public sector or in very large companies and is a time and mood killer.

He plays a good lip game. He masters social skills. He gets to be your friend, even if you’re not looking for friends. He is emotionally overwhelming and can always push you a lot farther than you’re willing to go by yourself. He seduces customers, but rarely has the capacity to actually deliver the results. He is not annoying in the beginning, but becomes highly disappointing afterwards. The sweet talking sales technique works like a charm when selling to unprepared customers.

You know this person. She is fascinated by her CRM and never forgets to call you and ask for an update. If possible, daily. Somehow, this helps you not to forget that she wants to close the sale. It’s useful if people check to see if a project is on track, but it quickly gets very annoying when done too frequently. I’d say the line is crossed when you get more than one or maximum two calls a week. Weak people don’t know how to properly handle this type of pest, so they lie, suffer through it and flake out in the end.

What a blast! Loud voice, huge emotional involvement, stories by the dozen. You’re a buddy! It doesn’t matter how you feel or what you say, there’s a single source of noise in the room! He builds momentum and expectations, so you can feel even more guiltily if you’re not buying. Being a very calm guy, I’m very annoyed by this type of people because they talk too much and don’t focus on my needs or the points I am trying to make. I’m being ignored and the interaction feels fake. I’d bet they have the highest suicide rate in the industry.

This guy works for the company that can do anything and he sells the product that does everything. He answers any type of request in a very positive manner and manages to convince you that perfection really exists. How’s that for setting up expectations? I find this type of sales person highly annoying, because you cannot trust his story – it’s always perfect! On a  personal note, this one used to be my sin – and still is to some extent – because I’m so contaminated with “good intentions”.

He wants to buy something from you. You set up a meeting. You tell him what you do, describe the products and he is happily agreeing with everything you say. And then it comes! He has an opportunity that can really benefit your company! You can partner up! You need to buy first and then they’ll definitely acquire your product as well – because you already are partners! I intensely hate this approach, extremely common to VP’s of bizdevs. There is even a scientific explanation for that. It’s called: being a chicken shit! – manipulative and dishonest. If you want to sell something, just be open about it!

El Numero Uno. My all-time favorite! The name is self-explanatory. These people usually start out with a nice voice and a good approach. They are your newest good friends, sweet talkers that always have the perfect solution.

The weaker ones lose it when you softly start going against them. The tone of their voice changes. In an instant you’re not so likable and “friend-able” anymore.  It’s easy to spot them.

The really good ones can act for quite a while. If you see them during their brakes or after the show, you’ll catch a glimpse of their real persona. I got to see a lot of these people in the US. Europeans are a bit more relaxed and don’t try to appear happy and perfect. It’s OK, even required, to be human – to have moods, make nasty observations or disagree. Those that are picture perfect every day, by definition, are permanently faking it. So they are constantly dishonest and always treat customers like fools. Needless to say, never, ever be a total phony – it’s painfully and hopelessly lame, offensive and useless.

That was it! I’m glad I got this out of my system. Being bad at selling is easy because you are constantly under time and target pressures. Pressure makes you lose your calm and better judgement, so salespeople sometimes resort to primitive behavior. As a result, they become aggressive and annoying. Keep a clear mind and be calm – and it will work!

If you want to help salespeople you know, point them to this blog post and hope they get the message.