May 2011

“If you think you can do it, or you think you can’t do it, You are right.”

One of my favorite theories is called Cognitive Dissonance. It basically explains the process that helps humans effectively lie to themselves. When explaining it to various people I always used a simple example: You are fat because you like to pig out. It’s not because of genetics, work hours, environment or anything else – although they can all be used as excellent excuses in effectively coping with the shameful reality. It sound harsh, but it is a good example, as I was never the thin type.

I consistently try to avoid the natural impulse of lying to myself. It’s hard to accept your weaknesses or shortcomings, but you must do this in order to overcome them at some point. When my weight got completely out of control it became obvious that I had to do something, because being fat equals being very weak (and it’s quite easy to spot).

As most people, I tried various diets with various results. The worse thing about them were not the restrictions themselves, but the close friends who always monitor you and can’t refrain from asking “Is that good for your diet?” exactly as I am ordering or while eating. But, as the song has it, I needed to lose some weight and gain some respect (at least self respect ;-).

I was determined to do something, so I quietly picked up Tim Ferris‘ hyped book – The 4 Hour Body. I like his no B.S. / hustler approach to business, so I was sure it won’t hurt to try his recommendations in terms of weight loss as well. I went on diet in March. 2.5 months later, I’m 20% thinner and everyone is wondering about the miraculous diet I have been on. My biggest problem at the moment lies in adjusting the wardrobe, which seems to belong to someone else. So, if you want advice on how to lose weight, read the book. As a sidenote, I only went for the diet, no drugs and no exercise – since I am lazy enough not to have bought the necessary gear.

It’s not only being overweight. Smoking cigarettes is another example. I am a regular cigar smoker and I hate bullying people into not smoking. But, with cigarettes, you get the addiction. And then the cigarette controls you, just as food can control you – which means you are the weak slave of a bad habit. You need to go out every hour to smoke. You’re pissing people off and waisting your time just because you cannot control yourself. And I really don’t like this. I agree to any vice as long as you can manage it.

My point is that people need to constantly improve themselves. It’s difficult, it takes time, but the results are amazing and long lasting.

How to become better at anything in 7 easy steps:

1. Avoid lying to yourself – remember the Cognitive Dissonance theory.
2. Define and accept the problem.
3. Start working on it – even if it seems to be a nightmare.
4. Do it quietly – so the others won’t put pressure on you.
5. Set some goals, milestones and a timeframe.
6. Hang in there until you see the results – it usually takes months. Instant gratification is for babies and teenagers.
7. Enjoy your upgraded self and don’t lose the good habits you have acquired.

My personal objective is not to let a single thing or person impose on me a different lifestyle than I choose and like. Even if I don’t have the necessary qualities, I work hard to acquire them. Yes, it’s hard and it seems pretty lame, especially when you set off on a new endeavor. But it works, even for people like me, who totally suck at picking up new information or skills fast.

Pump yourself up by watching the movie Limitless - if you haven’t done so this far. Meanwhile I’ll go back at developing some new skills: being sociable and dancing  - a tough, but necessary move for an introvert.

Did I mention that I went through the same process with writing? It took me a few years to master it – in Romanian at least. Now I have to step up my game for the English version of the blog as well, since I already started getting complaints from my readers.

Be strong!