Articles by dragos

“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.”

This year, every other month I got a phone call from a friend informing me about a tragedy. Friends, our ages, dying, mostly of heart attacks and brain aneurysms. This should not be common for people in their mid-twenties up to late-thirties. After getting such news, I always end up spending a few hours contemplating the very finite character of life and the major actions we need to take.

The funnel of despair: losing your hope, losing your mind and losing your life. It may sound dramatic, but it’s commonly seen during tough times. Romania, the place where I sadly spent half of 2010, offers the perfect illustration. The political chaos, manifested in unbearable taxation, corruption and lack of planning and foresight, produced one great fatality: people’s hope for a better future.

Lack of hope instills uncertainty and ever increasing pressure. Very few of us are strong enough to keep a clear mind in a personal universe where all hope is lost. The next step is always: losing your mind. Most become frozen and bitter, some get severely depressed and some others attempt suicide. A good example is that of the sound technician from the Romanian National Television who jumped off the Parliament balcony early this month, protesting against those that “stole our future”. Not surprisingly, when it comes to mental disorders, Romanians are Europe’s “champions”.

Losing your life is the hardest part. I am not speaking of dying, because that is (cynically) the easy way out. By losing life I mean unused potential, wasted years, lack of accomplishments and happiness – the lengthy and painful process at the end of which you come to grasp your own insignificance.

For a modern man, total success is equal to being a self-made man, rising from rags to riches, pushed by personal will and power. The scaled down version of this is being able to have a family, a decent lifestyle in which you can afford a house, a car, good education for your children and occasional vacations. Since some of us still live in patriarchal societies, especially in poorer countries, not being able to provide for your family equals complete and utter failure – more so when being a man. Hence, it’s obvious how for many men life is lost when you have no hope, no control, no plans and no accomplishments.

One of the most interesting books I ever read was Flow, by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi. I highly recommend it, since it is the best happiness manual/treaty (far from your average useless self-help book). Mr. Csíkszentmihályi, a psychiatrist, studied people for more than 20 years and found out what produces the feeling of happiness. It all boils down to the fact that having purpose in life is the purpose of life. You will understand the concept better after reading the book.

So what’s the purpose? Dying at 30 while trying to build your business or provide for your family? While I do not advocate working yourself into the ground, still I would argue that to die trying is a very honorable position – sadly, it rarely has long-term benefits for you and the others.

First, I think you need to have purpose, a dream. It should only rely on your own actions and thoughts, since triggering actions of others is a hundred times harder. Then, you should do all in your power to pursue your dream. You will always have your family, friends and others that depend on your work and well-being. Try to keep their number to a minimum, since they all just add new layers of problems. As an entrepreneur, even without a family or other major obligations, you will quickly see that your actions can severely impact the life of tens or hundreds of people.

My example: I do business across the world, renting servers and cloud services. My dream is pretty simple: to build and grow a company that serves customers on six continents, deploys thousands of servers and makes clients happy. This gives me purpose. I have been doing this for a while. For about two years, I started to internationalize my business and the feeling is great. This move opened a world of hope and new possibilities.

The purpose will always be a journey. The destination is just a point that defines the direction and urges us to move. Hope, the belief in the dream, pushes us further. Happiness has to be integrated in the journey. By having a purpose, doing what you like and liking what you do, you will get your fair share of happiness each and every day.

Vision without execution is hallucination. Plans that do not degenerate into work are only good intentions. So, I (as many others) came to a point in life where an extra kick is needed to go in the right direction. The best thing you can do in such moments is to burn the ships: Destroy anything that can offer you a quick exit, the return to normal. Perhaps not burning the ships, but merely scuttling them will be enough. I urge anyone over-thinking or planning bold actions to start by doing this: forcing himself out of the comfort zone. Otherwise we will just stall, lose hope and waste our lives.

Takeaways:

• 3. Get a life insurance. No investment plan, the basic one. It is inexpensive and smart to have.
• 2. Read Flow by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi. You will be sorry you have not read it sooner. View his Flow speech at TED.
• 1. Walk away from people and places you don’t like, that offer you no hope or joy.
• 0. Burn thy ships. Just do it, don’t over-think it.

December 31 2010, Bucharest ROMANIA